(From an automated answering system )

Ring, ring..... Hello! and welcome to the Gardener's Psychiatric hotline.

If you are buying plants, yet have no space or time to plant them, you are obsessive-compulsive. Please press 1 repeatedly.

If you want someone else to do the digging, you are co-dependent. Please ask someone to press 2.

If you will plant anything and everything, you have multiple personalities. Please press 3, 4, and 5.

If you are sure the sun, rain, bugs, and plant diseases are out to get you, you are paranoid delusional. We know who you are and what you want..just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are sure the flowers are talking to you, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which button to press.

If you can't throw away a plant, even if it is dying, you are manic-depressive and it doesn't matter which button you press.

If you think your garden is being attacked by evil spirits, press 6-6-6.

If you continue to plant only flowers with fragrance, you are nasally fixated. Please press the scratch-and-sniff button.

If you occasionally hallucinate and know that this year your garden is going to look as good or better than Martha Stewart's please be aware that the thing you are now holding to the side of your head is alive and is about to bite your ear.


otherwise,..., Have a Nice Day! Good-bye!

LOL, thanks, that is so funny!

I have WAY too many of those symptoms!!

I am obsessive compulsive -- need to press 1 repeatedly
Good one Joe LOL

Don't worry, some of us are all the above symptoms at different times of the year,

My cell-phone won't work in the garden so I'm unable to call...

.....Alan.